Friday, September 30, 2011

Post the 13th: In Which a Mysterious Object is Found

       This one really does contain adult content, although I'll try and present it somewhat politely, since I don't want to classify my whole blog as having "mature content". You've been warned.

       I debated over whether or not I wanted to post this, since I've been trying to stay on topic with my posts. It hasn't got anything to do with popular culture, but it sure is entertaining, and I can't resist weaving a colorful narrative, so here we go.

       Based on several different accounts, I've assembled a timeline for the events which transpired yesterday evening at my place of employment.

       Two co-workers were walking by the restrooms as a janitor was in the ladies room, door ajar (since it was a male). They saw him pull something out of the trash, they couldn't tell what it was because it was wrapped in some kind of plastic bag or paper, but they heard him react to it.

       "What the f-"

       Later on, he took the object he found to the poor, poor front desk attendant, a very nice woman who's reaction I'm kind of sorry I missed.

       The object, ladies and gentlemen, was in fact a woman's "pleasure device".

       In the trash can. Of this office building.

       There are a number of questions that I don't think anyone wants the answers to, not the least of which being "Why the f^ck was there a d^ldo in the ladies room, and who did this?"

       Why did she cast it aside? Was she ditching evidence? Why would she be ashamed to have it? Did she break it?

       I'll no longer be able to look most of my third floor co-workers in the eye now. Is this not the craziest shit you've heard of happening in an office building?

       Please, let me know if you've had something nuttier *snicker* happen at your workplace. My productivity is more or less f^cked for the day anyhow.

       And in case you're feeling like there's grime in your brain, here's something cute:

12 comments:

  1. You're not allowed to use the word "vibrating" in comments to this post without accepting the implications that will come with it.

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  2. maybe it's harmless and we're reading this all wrong.. someone was in their.. laying some pipe.. that's all. plumbing.

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  3. Yeah... yeah that's probably it. That's why everyone was using the word d^ldo. It's latin for "PVC pipe".

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  4. DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS! DILDOS!

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  5. This is why we can't have nice things.

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