Friday, September 30, 2011

Post the 13th: In Which a Mysterious Object is Found

       This one really does contain adult content, although I'll try and present it somewhat politely, since I don't want to classify my whole blog as having "mature content". You've been warned.

       I debated over whether or not I wanted to post this, since I've been trying to stay on topic with my posts. It hasn't got anything to do with popular culture, but it sure is entertaining, and I can't resist weaving a colorful narrative, so here we go.

       Based on several different accounts, I've assembled a timeline for the events which transpired yesterday evening at my place of employment.

       Two co-workers were walking by the restrooms as a janitor was in the ladies room, door ajar (since it was a male). They saw him pull something out of the trash, they couldn't tell what it was because it was wrapped in some kind of plastic bag or paper, but they heard him react to it.

       "What the f-"

       Later on, he took the object he found to the poor, poor front desk attendant, a very nice woman who's reaction I'm kind of sorry I missed.

       The object, ladies and gentlemen, was in fact a woman's "pleasure device".

       In the trash can. Of this office building.

       There are a number of questions that I don't think anyone wants the answers to, not the least of which being "Why the f^ck was there a d^ldo in the ladies room, and who did this?"

       Why did she cast it aside? Was she ditching evidence? Why would she be ashamed to have it? Did she break it?

       I'll no longer be able to look most of my third floor co-workers in the eye now. Is this not the craziest shit you've heard of happening in an office building?

       Please, let me know if you've had something nuttier *snicker* happen at your workplace. My productivity is more or less f^cked for the day anyhow.

       And in case you're feeling like there's grime in your brain, here's something cute:

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Mameshiba the Bean Dog

       I discovered Mameshiba yesterday while reading Manly Guys Doing Manly Things, and over the past two days, I've watched every episode.

       Mameshiba (豆しば), if you're not familiar, is a Japanese character that is part bean ("mame") and part dog ("shiba inu" is a Japanese dog breed). The name "mameshiba" is also a pun of the Japanese word for trivia (mamechishiki), since the characters say a trivial fact in every episode.

       Basically, in each episode as someone is attempting to enjoy some manner of bean-based food, one of the mameshiba (there are twenty different varieties) will pop out and terrorize, disgust, or otherwise disturb the unsuspecting individual with a piece of useless trivia. One of my favorite things about the shorts is the completely reasonable reaction people have to the mameshiba. Despite the happy and upbeat music and overall tone of the videos, for the most part people are shocked, question their sanity, and have their appetites ruined. Additionally, the trivia is often relevant to what the person is doing, such as the man who has his date ruined when the peanut mameshiba informs him that "when you kiss, 200 million germs per second are exchanged between mouths".

       So these little beans spend their time popping out of your food and fucking up your day. Assholes.

Screen from the upcoming Mameshiba game
       As I mentioned, there are 20 different mameshiba, each a different type of bean with a different "personality". Although you don't really see any variations in personality in the videos, the website assures us each one is an individual. Except for the jelly beans, which are a cluster of 7 beans. Oh, also the one that's not really a real bean and is candy, is "American". Harumph.

       Now it seems they are making a Mameshiba video game. And why not? The franchise, whose source material is literally 20 short animated films, has grossed over $100 million worldwide since it's conception in 2008. The game is essentially a Nintendogs style game, where you raise and train your pet, except that you also talk to your mameshiba and unlock bits of trivia along the way. The game is set to release in Japan in Fall 2011. No word on a US release as of yet, but here's the weird-ass trailer anyway:

Monday, September 19, 2011

Tattoo Culture, 2011

Example of tribal tattoos
       During the early 1990's there was an influx in the popularity of tattooing in the US. Specific designs became canon, and people would just go to the parlor, pick something out of a book, and get it permanently etched onto their bodies. Tribal tattoos, images of cartoon characters, and tattoos on the small of a woman's back (unfortunately dubbed "tramp stamps") were hugely popular at the onset of the 90's.
       Nowadays, however, it's more about the individual. As made clear by sites such as Fuck Yeah, Tattoos!, the more personal and artistic the tattoo, the better. Tattoo artists are now actual, proper artists, who can create the designs they transfer onto their clients, rather than just copying the same pre-made image over and over.
       There are still trends that come and go, for a while everyone wanted tattoos of Koi fish, cherry blossom trees, and other Asian-inspired pieces. Recently, meaningful song lyrics or poems have become popular as tattoos, as well as 3D tattoos.
Gorgeous gypsy from "Fuck Yeah, Tattoos!"
       But why the change? There are a number of different factors that one can attribute to any society-wide change. In this case, I think one of the largest contributors is the Internet. Compared to one or two decades ago, our culture as a whole is changing at break-neck speed, and I for one believe it is because we are also sharing, growing, and changing as a society so much faster thanks the ever more available access to the Internet. Now any small idea can spread and become a trend within hours, and everyone has a voice they can have heard by a seemingly infinite audience.
       Personally, I'm glad for the change. I love spending time looking at all the aesthetically appealing and emotionally moving works of art that others are designing and getting as tattoos. I believe it is a great way to express one's individuality, and show an appreciation for fantastic artwork.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Watch Thundercats. Watch it NOW.

Hahaha, oh Snarf you suck so hard!

       Being born in 1987, I didn't watch the original Thundercats cartoon when it ran from 1985 to 1989. The boyfriend, however, did watch the original series as a kid. So together, as a fan of the original and someone with no prior knowledge of the series, we sat down to watch the first few episodes.
       As a Thundercats n00b, I gotta say I'm pretty taken with the series so far. The artwork is beautiful, and the character archetypes are distinct and recognizable, without feeling tired. The story arch thus far has remained intriguing, and the pacing has been pretty ideal. Things progress at a good clip, but not so fast as to rush the plot, just enough to keep things interesting. Also, Snarf is no longer the second worst character ever (Towelie still wins). Instead of this horrible thing that just loafs around and calls out it's own name like a goddamn PokeMon:

Get a job, Snarf!
       We get this charming little guy, who makes cute cat noises, only occasionally making anything close to a "snarf" sound:

You so cute now Snarf.
       The most recent episode in particular had an excellent plot that incorporated themes from old samurai movies, and almost had a Kurasawa feel to it. Lion-O enters a town full of swordsmen to obtain supplies and is challenged to duel by a "sword collector" type (a recurring character in Japanese tales) and loses the Sword of Omens. A literal drifter comes along to teach him to cool his fevered way of approaching battles and be more flexible. It reminded me of Bruce Lee's "flow like water" ideology.
       I can't get too into the differences between the original and the new incarnations, not having seen the first series. The boyfriend seems just as into the new one as myself though, if not more so. All I can say is I can't recommend this show enough, if you haven't been watching it so far I highly suggest you start watching this week. Additionally, if there's anyone that's seen the original and has any comparative feedback, please comment. Or even if you've seen the show, I'd love to hear what you think.

Thundercats airs on Cartoon Network, Fridays at 8:30pm EST.

Yeah, I had to create a Thundercat. It happens.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Snooze Fest at Shark Night

       As any one of the friends I bugged about going will tell you, I was pretty stoked for the arrival of Shark Night 3D this past Friday. The visuals of the trailer promised a shark-loaded gorefest, complete with unnecessary explosions and co-ed nudity.
       The trailer lied.
       Directed by David R. Ellis of the Final Destination franchise, Shark Night 3D somehow wound up with a rating of PG-13. This was puzzling given the amount of gore implied by the trailer. It was puzzling, that is, until I saw the movie on Sunday.
       The lack of plot was not surprising given the genre. In fact, it was expected (how could you not?). Unfortunately, the film itself, while holding to the anticipated poor plot and lack of character development, also lacked in the gore department. There were only 5 types of shark in the film, at least two of which are not considered dangerous to humans. There was also not actual human violence shown, just implied. You'd see a shark leap out of the water and the film would cut just as it was about to rip some poor college kid in half.
       With nor off-the-wall gore or nudity to redeem the films lack of mediocre plot, Shark Night 3D is a pretty useless movie. It's dull, predictable, and I would advise renting this one, if bothering to watch it at all. Especially at the steep $14.00 most theaters charge for a ticket.